I like simple phrases, They are easy to remember. The bonus comes when life proves them to be true. This phrase is still as true today in my life as when I first heard it. Some say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting the results to change. Oh how true that is.
Today is no different from when I first got sober. I get a daily reprieve based on our spiritual condition. I am further away from my last drink, but just as close to my next drink as I have ever been. This fact remains prominent in the way I conduct myself today. If I continue to behave sober as I did when I was drinking, I will drink again. This is just the truth. If I keep on doing what I am doing; I will keep getting what I am getting!
I was 41 when I came into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. I had a lifetime to perfect my insanity of repetitive behavior expecting the results to be different. At the end I was left hopeless and helpless.
At the meeting room I went to they had the 12 STEPS on the wall behind the speaker,The topic of the discussion was the 4 step. People were speaking of their character defects, I was confused because what they referenced as defects were in fact my character traits. I had no clue. These character defects as the referred to them were the very things that I used though out my life and in fact the things that had kept me alive. They told me that the only thing I had to change was EVERYTHING.
From the very start there were three things that concerned me in How it Works. The first is, "Those who do not recover are people who can not or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves, they are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way." Second is; "Some of us hold on to our old ideas, and the result is nil until we let go absolutely." And third is; "Half measures avail us nothing." I realized from the very beginning that this was not going to be easy. My hope came from the first line; "Rarely have we seen a person fail that has thoroughly followed our path." I had no where left to go. This had to work or I knew I would Die. There I was and here I am today, my goal, to thoroughly follow this path. To develop a manner of living that demands rigorous honesty, and to abandon myself to this simple program. The truth is if I keep doing what I have been doing I will keep getting what I am getting, and that has proven to be beyond my wildest dreams. The only thing in life that does not change is change. Keep coming back, it works if you work it.
